


like i’m gonna lose you (again)

by halcyonhan (twilightrenjun)



Category: Stray Kids (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, End of the World, Established Relationship, Exes to Lovers, Fluff, Kim Seungmin is Bad at Feelings, M/M, bang chan was just mentioned, how do you tag, minho is a model/actor
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-28
Updated: 2021-02-28
Packaged: 2021-03-12 05:20:13
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,733
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29754657
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/twilightrenjun/pseuds/halcyonhan
Summary: The world is ending, everybody is spending the last hours of their lives with the people they love the most. To Seungmin and Minho however… it’s not the same thing. There’s that one line that separates them both: they’re exes, and they aren’t really meant to spend each other’s last hours together. They have significant others already, as far as Seungmin’s knowledge goes. It wouldn’t make sense to anyone why they would keep each other company until Earth meets its unfortunate fate.“Until the next autumn comes?”“There won’t be any time soon, you know, but possibilities are slim… and truly endless.”They both laughed, never seeming to feel how horrible the joke was considering the fact that the world isindeedending.
Relationships: Kim Seungmin/Lee Felix, Kim Seungmin/Lee Minho | Lee Know
Comments: 6
Kudos: 45





	like i’m gonna lose you (again)

**Author's Note:**

> hello! this has been inspired by two songs:
> 
> \- [like i'm gonna lose you](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=b2gTGEeB12w).  
> \- [if the world was ending](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DPZ99hxi4-A).
> 
> feel free to listen while reading these, but it's okay not to! :D

“What do you mean you’re locked in there?”

“Seungs, it’s an emergency lockdown enforced by the higher officials of the building. I can’t go anywhere else, I can’t be with you during our final moments here in this world.” Seungmin felt Felix’s disheartened voice, mixed with the noise coming from his side. They were in two different places right now, Felix at his work and Seungmin at the mall, where he was supposed to meet Felix. The rules of Felix’s company are very strict too, a plan of sneaking out isn't as easy as it sounds. 

“You can’t ask permission?” Seungmin was desperate. They promised each other that they’ll spend their last hours together, but the situation isn’t any better.

There was a short pause before Seungmin heard Felix speak. “Unfortunately, not,” Felix answered, sounding a little solemn with his statement. Seungmin felt the pang in his heart when he didn’t hear his usual _sunshine boy,_ nor was he able to spend the last hours with him. “My co-worker did that earlier and he only got reprimanded.” 

The words Seungmin heard only made it worse, his back arching downward in defeat. What did he do to this world for him to experience this last minute?

Seungmin’s head remained empty, words trying to form yet _nothing was happening,_ he was saying nothing. “What about staying in this video call?” Felix suggested, but Seungmin figured it would be harder for Felix, won’t he be made fun of?

“I don’t think it would end well for you, Lixie,” Seungmin watched the freckled boy wonder curiously, asking the question Seungmin expected. “Why?”

Seungmin quietly and carefully constructed the words in his mind, he didn’t want to hurt Felix with what he was about to say. He personally didn’t like the situation right now, and it felt like he was forcing Felix to do something for him. “I don’t want to place you in a position where—” Seungmin was unfortunately cut off by the muffled audio from Felix’s side.

_There will be signal interferences for phone calls and the like in a few minutes so please be weary that anytime minute, the online connection to the world might be cut—_

That didn’t make too much sense to Seungmin. The world is ending in a few more hours, why are people doing signal interferences to disconnect people? How are other people from long distances going to say goodbye?

Nevermind, that wasn’t Seungmin’s problem anymore, surely, but his situation says otherwise.

“I love you,” Seungmin heard Felix whisper, disrupting the on-going speech of whoever was talking from his side. He was lost, too lost to even speak. “The world might be ending right now, but I’ll always love you okay? I don’t know if this may be our last conversation, but I wish I was able to hug you, kiss you, or cuddle with you even more. I wish I was able to tell you more that I love you more than anything, now the world is ending.” It hurted Seungmin to hear Felix speak like this. It was neither of their faults why the world is ending today. Their words were cliché, yes, but Seungmin was ready to take what was available, especially if it’s from Felix.  
  


“Lixie, it’s not your fault the world is ending. You’ve told me  _ I love yous _ more than I did to you, it’s not fair.” Seungmin tried to protest because he was right, but Felix hushed him with a slight smile. Through the screen, Seungmin could still feel the bundle of joy he used to know.

Seungmin almost couldn’t take this, Felix wasn’t frowning but he was rather smiling while  _ hiding his pain. _ “No, thank you… for staying, and believing in the possibility of  _ us _ . I knew you still loved  _ him,  _ and though it may hurt, I couldn’t change what you truly feel, right?” He knew? After all this time, he stayed despite me looking at someone else?

“Felix.”

“Go, where are you? Talk to him, spend your last hours with him.” The freckles below his dreamy eyes seem to glow softer, yet the smile on his face remains consistent. Somehow, the smile made him feel everything calmer, as if the world wasn’t falling apart.

“I’m in  _ The Yellowwood,  _ the mall where we first dated, remember?” A smile landed on Felix’s face, Seungmin was glad to see that one last time. But more than that, it was also the place he went to arcade dates with  **his** ex— _ the-he-who-must-not-be-named _ —the  _ special someone, _ the person Felix was talking about in particular. It had a double meaning for Seungmin, so it wasn’t as easy to stay.

“I thought I’d be able to see you one last time before it all ends.” It was true. Seungmin and Felix promised that they  _ have _ to see each other before everything starts to fall apart, scheduled to meet in this mall. Now, all torn up due to each other’s situation, there was nothing else they could do but comfort each other through video calls.

“I’m sorry, Seungmin.”

“Lix…”

Seungmin just couldn’t fall in love deeper no matter what he did. He still loved someone else, and that’s someone who isn’t Felix.

_ Seungmin still loved his ex. He never lost his feelings for  _ **_him._ **

“I’ll be okay.” There goes his smile again, one of his charming features. It was more than enough for Seungmin to see him smile, but more hurtful enough to let him go just because his heart said so. After all, what he wanted for the two of them is to be happy during their last moments on Earth,  _ together.  _ Right now, it seems so impossible to do so.

“I love you, Felix. Please stay safe,” Seungmin’s thoughts were scattered and he was trying to compose himself not to breakdown in front of him  _ basically,  _ despite being a few miles away. He couldn’t love him the way he loved that  _ particular someone _ Felix almost mentioned, and Seungmin couldn’t help but blame himself for what happened to their relationship.

He didn’t believe in the possibility of meeting that  _ someone _ again. At least not in this situation, where everyone is starting to lock their buildings down in preparation (for the end of the world? Perhaps, unless it’s just a lie, which is highly unlikely.) But that perfect reality Seungmin was dreaming for was so far, already beyond his reach. Heck, it was beyond this lifetime.

The world’s about to end, what he wants to do—his own bucket list—can never be done anymore. Meeting that  _ particular someone _ he fell for deeply one last time, the person he had yearned for and had to let go, the person he loved more than Felix, if he was going to be honest? No, not in a million years, now that everything is coming to an end. 

For Seungmin, that was his goodbye to him, to his relationship with Felix.

—

Seungmin thought it was the end, that he was going to be alone by the time Earth ceased its existence. It was like that before bumping into the person he least expected in this mall, though wasn’t sure if he was being too dramatic over his thoughts earlier. Is what he’s seeing right now real or just hallucinations brought by his still broken heart?

“The world must be joking with me.” He was just in a call with Felix earlier, now  _ Lee Minho _ is literally right in front of him, after he was just told by Felix to go after him?

“No, Seungmin, in fact, I am here in physical form. You can try poking my arms for confirmation.” Minho was still… Minho after all these months. Seungmin couldn’t describe it either. He was still the same Minho he knew, the same Minho he fell in love a hundred times for. 

He was the sole reason why he couldn’t love Felix the same way, because it has always,  _ always _ been Minho for Seungmin.

“Of all the places, you decided to be here.” Seungmin wasn’t blaming Minho, but he was just as surprised, though it may sound otherwise.

Minho watched him as he ended his words. “I planned to stay here before the world ends, since I basically have no one anymore.” Seungmin watched Minho as he leaned down the pillars of some boutique shop where they coincidentally met.  _ No one? _ Seungmin thought, wasn’t he already with someone?

_ Anymore.  _ That’s what Minho said, Seungmin realized, meaning,  _ it must’ve been something recent. _

“Anymore? You can’t call any of your relatives?” Seungmin questioned back, hopefully not sounding too eager of wanting to be updated with his ex. Minho wasn’t the usual boy-next-door, though. He was a model, a very famous one, currently at his peak. Minho was always on TVs, Korean dramas, CFs, Seungmin always sees his face  _ every. single. day. _ So it was difficult to move on, especially when Minho’s popularity skyrocketed immediately after his first drama project. He was the talk of the town during the time Seungmin had to let go of him.  _ Why? _ It was the usual cliché Korean drama-esque type of plot, one easily understood by everyone: Seungmin letting go of Minho for his career. 

He was there when Minho struggled with several auditions, being the best friend and  _ (his) other half, _ he was there to cheer for him whenever his day went bad. Minho happened to receive the offer of an audition by one of JYP Entertainment’s casting directors. The gateway to the offer was the dance competition Seungmin encouraged him to enter, and he was proud Minho already got this far for being so young.

Another fact the world doesn’t know is that, of course, Seungmin was Minho’s ex. They both had a past together, they were each other’s  _ missing puzzle pieces. _ He already mentioned that in his flashbacks, though.

Several minutes had passed and Seungmin decided to sit beside Minho. There was a tall mirror in front of them, and the first thing he noticed was how Minho still managed to look good despite the situation. He was known for carrying great outfits on the runway anyway, most of which he was taken to model them out. Something equally fashionable like right now, a  _ Neo Culture Technology _ -esque outfit: a leather jacket, tight pants, and some branded sneakers he couldn’t identify. He wasn’t so sure either; he wasn’t the type to pay attention and wear designer clothes just for fun. Sure, he had a few clothing pieces from  _ Miroh _ and  _ Levanter, _ but it was just no match for Minho himself who was  _ almost  _ literally walking in gold.

“No, I just... broke up with  **him** .” If Seungmin was right, he didn’t sound disappointed as he presumed so. It was a bit unusual, he did expect him to be as heartbroken as he was when he left Minho.

He heard him continue, bursting his bubble of thoughts previously. “After this whole _end of the world_ _fiasco_ came out in the news, I broke up with **him**. I couldn’t do it anymore, I couldn’t hurt **him** nor continue whatever we once had.”

“I explained what my side was.  **He** understood me and we left each other with a wave and a goodbye.” Seungmin wasn’t entirely sure if Minho was pertaining to someone he knew or it was someone else, he did have another relationship and that was  **_Bang Chan,_ ** the other model he worked with a few months back. 

Seungmin was still quite skeptical, proceeding with another question, “There wasn’t any news about it?” Then again, he didn’t want to look nosy over his ex. He was just wondering, most especially because Minho was a public figure, if he wasn’t careful, he would immediately be the title header of entertainment news portals.

“I had a schedule today, but after hearing it was the end of the world, I wanted to have fun one last time so I went here. Memories passed by while I was strolling around, too.” There wasn’t anything Seungmin could talk about Bang Chan, he knew him no more than Minho’s model friend from another company and colleague, modeling with him from time to time. Besides the magazines Seungmin has seen of them, there was nothing more he knew.

“Are you telling me you sneaked out of a schedule you were supposed to follow?” Seungmin deadpanned, though it shouldn’t be a surprise, Minho has always been the type who follows his own path. Minho didn’t like to be controlled, and he didn’t want to control as well.

Minho raised his left eyebrow and turned in front of Seungmin, faces inches apart. Seungmin’s only hope was that his face isn’t as red as he thinks it is. Minho scoffed and laughed after, the other boy never knowing what he saw.

“Did you ever think I’ll fo—” Minho’s cheerful remark was countered by the slight interference of flickering lights from the ceiling. The surprised look exchanged by Seungmin and Minho was unmistakable, and as if running their minds through telepathy, they whispered the same words.

_ “We have to get out of here,” _ and that was all they needed to hear, it seems. It didn’t take too long, but he managed to stand up first. He extended his left hand and asked for Seungmin’s. Now, was Seungmin supposed to take that out of courtesy, or was Minho only teasing him all this time? After all, he  _ did _ get his cheeks red earlier. It’s just an easy addition to…  _ whatever _ Minho was planning, Seungmin thinks.

That truly didn’t stop Seungmin from smiling, though. The hand was free, and so was his. It was up to him whether to take it or leave it hanging there, but leaving it hanging might cause him even more teasing from Minho. He couldn’t really deal with Minho right now, what more of his teases? Who was he to reject his offer of going somewhere else? Logically, it could be dangerous for them to stay. Seeing the ceiling lights fluctuate repeatedly could also mean short circuits, that could lead to fire, and isn’t good  _ at all. _ Seungmin didn’t want to commit some crime before the world ends or experience a painful death by burning. 

Not because he had no choice, but because of his own will, he took Minho’s hand, allowing him to be lifted up.

—

Seungmin missed this so much, even more so now that Minho’s  _ physically _ here beside him. Seungmin missed how he held Minho’s hand so tightly like the whole world was ready to take Minho away from him _. _ He missed the times when Minho came home to his arms after a tiring dance practice from school, or how bright Minho’s smile was when he came home to their dorms bragging that he won the prize money in some talent competition. It was all the little things Seungmin would count until he fell asleep, all of those little things that made him fall faster than the speed of light.

Now,  _ this _ was going to be in those  _ little things _ as well.

“We’re here,” Minho gasped for air as his grip held Seungmin’s hand firmly. Seungmin was pulled by Minho to somewhere else he didn’t know. They continued running until they reached this point where Seungmin doesn’t entirely know where they were, and considering how large the mall was, he was somewhere not too familiar to him.

The younger blushed yet again while keeping his pace alongside Minho. He often wondered how Minho was able to pull these last-minute quirks when the world is ending. Anything could happen anytime, whether earlier and predictions were just wrong.

The sensation of love wasn’t new to Seungmin, it felt like a blooming flower in his heart, or something similar to the cycle of blossoming youth. He always felt the butterflies in his stomach; it never left after all. Seungmin had been in several relationships after Minho, convincing himself that Minho would be moving on quickly and everything is going to be okay. 

It shouldn’t really surprise him when in the end, what he thought never really happened, and he was left broken for a decision he thought was for the best of them. Though for Minho, it would seem that way. Minho rose to stardom and fame, recognition left and right, and back-to-back drama projects contributed to where he was right now.

Seungmin has already made his mind up, gathering some courage to call him out. “Lee Minho,” Seungmin wanted to tell him to stop holding his hand, but his voice was never to be found. All the courage went away, suddenly, when he caught a glimpse of him again. Somehow, he was always his weakness. Him and his…  _ sweetness. _ It drives Seungmin’s mind out of this world, floating somewhere else.

“Yes?” Minho curiously glanced back at Seungmin after hearing his own name, slowing his pace in walking. This time, it was Minho blushing. It’s been a  _ very long while  _ since he heard Seungmin call him that way. His last memory of him was the last soft kiss they shared in between the alley below the night sky, which was basically a few days away when Seungmin decided to let him go.

Now, Minho was experiencing it yet again, this time, he wouldn’t let go.

He wants to love him again and continue doing so until the world ends.

“I hope you’re holding onto the fact that exes can no longer be together,” Seungmin mumbled, abruptly stopping Minho’s pace in walking while also breaking his previous train of thoughts. Seungmin knew how much pain his words contained, but he had to remind Minho. They shouldn’t lead each other’s feelings out after letting go  _ and  _ moving on.

Have they really… really moved on? Seungmin wanted to ask him, but considering he just went out of a relationship, wouldn’t it be too rude to ask him immediately?

“I didn’t ask you to come back, though,” along these lines Seungmin heard, his heart hurted. Of course, Minho would respond with something suitable to his sentence earlier.

“Unless you do want to, of course.” Seungmin raised a brow. He better not be joking, especially not during these moments. 

“Are you suggesting we reunite right now?” Well, they’re technically reunited but  _ formally, _ like under a relationship, like the one they had before?

“Well, if that’s what you think, then yes.” Minho was still the same old one he knew, one reckless and willing to sacrifice anything for love.

Seungmin shook his head instead to divert the topic. “Where are we? I’m pretty sure you know this place well enough to bring me in here.” Seungmin spoke to him with a little sass, hoping the messages would manage to pass through that he wasn’t in the mood to talk about it yet.

Minho closed a bit of their distance, still holding Seungmin’s hand tightly. “If I… tell you that…” he paused every two to three words he whispered, before coming into some long pause. He glanced down to Seungmin’s lips, then back to his deep brown eyes. Seungmin’s ears were most likely crimson red now that he was anticipating whatever Minho’s next moves were.

“I really don’t know where we’re at, if I’m going to be honest.”

—

Minho plopped himself on one of the beds they found inside, as he was followed by Seungmin. The two recognized the place as a furniture store, a name he has forgotten, though. It was fortunate for them and their situation, the lights weren't flickering and the air conditioner was turned on. It was most likely left and forgotten, after all, the mall was huge and it was bound to happen. The store was deserted and no one else was in, people from this sector most likely left before everything went to a lockdown.

The store was huge, there were a bunch of different furniture sets juxtapositioned with each other, a few of which were named over flowers. They were all enclosed in a square glass, human-sized, of course. They weren’t miniatures, they were actual furniture pieces. For example,  _ Orchid  _ represented a contemporary bedroom furniture set in tones of cream and chestnut brown, while  _ Lilac  _ for a modern bedroom set with a light purple-ish shade. There were more than what was mentioned, most likely at least ten more, considering the  _ gigantic glass boxes _ Seungmin and Minho noticed across the room.

Seungmin closed the glass door and rested on the side of the bed where Minho had his whole body laid down. He won against Seungmin from their  _ Rock, Paper, and Scissors  _ game, so Minho got to decide which furniture set they were going to stay in. 

He chose red,  _ Rose,  _ apparently because that was the first bouquet of flowers he gave Seungmin on Valentine's Day a year before.

_ Talk about  _ **_coming back together._ ** Seungmin rolled his eyes to the side, his lips forming a soft grin.

Seungmin was pretty tired from all the walking and running, so a rest from all of those was a great break, at least for now before the both of them decide to do something else to kill the remaining time. Feeling the fatigue overcome his senses, Seungmin rested his tired body beside Minho, who was currently doing the same. “What do you think about ending our last moments in this world right here?” Nevermind the earlier thoughts, then, if this was Minho’s plan.

From running, intertwined hands, and playful banters to staying in the same room with him and resting on a soft mattress like the world wouldn’t end in a few hours. “You don’t want to go somewhere else?”

“I can’t and won’t go anywhere else without you.” Seungmin raised his brows, eyes still glued to the ceiling, completely questioning wherever Minho’s choice of words came from. Earlier, he was just completely teasing, now, was it just intentional false hope? After all, Seungmin still felt the same for him, so it would be easy for him to fall in love the second time around.

Seungmin didn’t bother asking, he shrugged the feeling away. It must be the comfort of their situation right now. “Hey,” He turned to face Minho after hearing him call him indirectly, their eyes locking with each other’s.

“The world is going to stop its existence soon. What will you do if we’ll be alive after this?” The older paid attention to Seungmin’s hair, his eyes blinking, eyes that presented a hidden constellation of stars. Seungmin couldn’t form his words out; he was lost in those captivating eyes again.

Minho always had doubts, and it was always, always his  _ what-ifs. _

“That’s close to impossible, Minho,” Seungmin whispered, their distances almost a few millimeters apart.

Minho’s very soft scoff answered Seungmin. “Emphasis on the  _ if, _ Seungmin.”

“I don’t know, really. News outlets reported it, so it must be true. Ever since the spread of the news that the world is ending soon, I really just… shrugged it off, and I don’t know why. What about you?” Seungmin shrugged it off only because he knew he wouldn’t meet Minho, at least not a sliver of chance that he would. 

Sometimes, things aren’t as you think they would be.

“I’ll start making things right, doing things back  _ to _ step one.” By step one, did Minho mean coming back to something, or setting off a quick break from his career?

Seungmin didn’t hesitate to ask this time. “Won’t that be too difficult?”

“You’re the first step, I’m pretty sure you wouldn’t be,” Minho’s words spilled out of his mouth all too casually, his bright smile too contagious.  _ Now, that was his childhood friend, Lee Minho. _ “And I think I know why.”

“Go on,” Seungmin requested, knowing that if this ever went well, then the end of the world wouldn’t be so stressful for the both of them.

Minho’s tongue clicked and grinned. “Maybe I still do love you, after all, that small piece of you I had still hoped we have our chances together, though I’d like to think you’re against it.” The few words broke Seungmin’s heart, he really didn’t mean it to be that way. It was more of the other way, if he was going to be honest. He assumed Minho didn’t want any relationship anymore, since that was the hint he was giving away since earlier.

Seungmin thought Minho only wanted company because the world is ending, and he was wrong but glad he was. 

“Cliché as it sounds, it’s always been you, I guess.” Minho breaks the silence, lovingly stroking Seungmin’s hair. The red blush in Seungmin’s cheeks spread very quickly, he was sure Minho noticed it immediately.

“Are you okay with me doing this?”

Seungmin thought that was a ridiculous question to ask, so he retaliated with a much more bold response, “You used to kiss me a lot. Before.”

“How did we get to the idea of kissing?” Minho snorted, his left hand falling down to Seungmin’s soft cheeks, softly caressing his rosy cheeks while rubbing his thumb in circles. Seungmin’s heart wants to scream, he missed this as much as he missed him and his warmth where he always felt welcomed.

“I’ll make most of the minutes and love with no regrets.” Minho managed to say, Seungmin’s hand approaching the one in his cheeks. Minho looked at him under a loving gaze, something that made Seungmin melt right then and there.

It was just them, Seungmin couldn’t hear anything from the room, not even the air conditioner that was supposed to make noise.  _ It was just them, their hearts beating, and these softly spoken promises. _

“That’s so sweet of you,” Seungmin snickered with a soft smile, his hands now fiddling with Minho’s. The two were a giggling mess, ignoring their current situation.

Seungmin felt the gap between the two of them lessen, and their lips were nearly hitting each other. “Seungmin, will you be okay if I…?” The pause in Minho’s words automatically made  _ that  _ thought in his head.

“I’ve been waiting, for a while now, you know.” Out of nowhere, Seungmin’s boldness made him lean and close their distances. Seungmin and Minho’s lips collided, his focus remained all on him. It reminded him of the first time they kissed, still enamored and simply  _ irresistible. _

Seungmin pulled away to breathe for a short while, before Minho himself met with Seungmin’s lips again. His kiss was something very quick yet calm like unspoken promises but heavy like the amount of love he was giving to Seungmin. 

“Seung,” the endearment reminded Seungmin of their past together, and he was about to say something before Minho cut him off. “I’m sorry it had to be this way. I’m sorry that the world had to end before we could reunite.” Minho wasn’t usually like this, and it shouldn’t be him apologizing.

It wasn’t his fault. Seungmin wanted to say this out loud, but Minho continued his words. “Now, the world is setting me free from my fame. I’m free to love you now like I did before, so I’m never gonna lose you, again,”

“Minho, you have nothing to apologize for. I should be the one apologizing,” for being such a coward not fighting for the both of them, when Seungmin thought it was the best choice.

“Seungmin, you did what you think was best. It’s all in the past now, the present is what matters. I’m never letting you go.”

“Never letting go, ever again,” Minho linked their foreheads together after hearing Seungmin’s response, their eyes locking with one another. Seungmin has given it so much thought, there weren’t any more doubts, because he trusts Minho more than anyone else.

“You have to promise me, if this world-ending thing isn’t real, then we’ll meet here  _ again. _ Exactly in this place, or this mall. Isn’t the next season autumn?” Autumn was Seungmin’s favorite season. That was the season he got to meet Minho,  _ the season that changed his life in a whole 360. _

“Until the next autumn comes?”

“There won’t be any time soon, you know, but possibilities are slim… and truly endless.”

They both laughed, never seeming to feel how horrible the joke was considering the fact that the world was  _ indeed _ ending. It may seem unusual for two exes,  _ now lovers, _ to spend their last moments on Earth together, but it was better than having no one else. The two fell into dreamland, cradling each other’s arms as their vision for the world fell blank.

**Author's Note:**

> thank you so much for reaching this far!! ilysm i hope ur having a great day! <3
> 
> [[twt](https://twitter.com/REL0ADHAN).]


End file.
